I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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