In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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