Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize