I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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