Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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