Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize