You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My cat gives me a boner
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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