I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
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When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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