How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize