he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize