weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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