I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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