so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
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She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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