her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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