i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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