u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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