my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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