i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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