margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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