Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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