All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm at about main and main street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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