come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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