i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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