I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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