we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Come see our sink grown plant.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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