Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Life is so much better after having sex.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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