You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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