you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize