Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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