Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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