so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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