maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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