R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize