You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize