Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.

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(248): the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease. http://tfl.nu/67d8

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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(603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc

Replies (90) Good night (2395) Bad night (22925) Order T-Shirt
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave

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(413): before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave http://tfl.nu/loh3

Replies (26) Good night (8034) Bad night (565)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

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(774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass. http://tfl.nu/6q4x

Replies (27) Good night (11405) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

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(978): vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair http://tfl.nu/uyhj

Replies (5) Good night (2608) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers

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(603): Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers http://tfl.nu/0i28

Replies (5) Good night (1746) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace

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(519): This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace http://tfl.nu/d3z0

Replies (5) Good night (482) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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(802): View more from Vermont

He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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(802): He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass. http://tfl.nu/9wu9

Replies (23) Good night (2398) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

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(306): You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota. http://tfl.nu/9skm

Replies (5) Good night (881) Bad night (382)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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(256): I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night. http://tfl.nu/42hk

Replies (0) Good night (1137) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.

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(207): HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health. http://tfl.nu/zxtp

Replies (9) Good night (1031) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?

(701): View more from North Dakota

In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!

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(612): Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend? (701): In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing! http://tfl.nu/fqw2

Replies (11) Good night (1875) Bad night (309)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something

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(601): She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something http://tfl.nu/xegg

Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

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(248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j

Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.

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(815): We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni. http://tfl.nu/pqm5

Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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