dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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