I don't think brook has ever known best
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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