tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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