i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize