You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
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She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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