Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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