He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize