My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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