I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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