she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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