Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize