she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize