So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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