She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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