The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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